yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
