He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
