Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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