dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
