Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
