there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Shame is for Republicans.
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