I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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