Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
