i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
