This girl is more easily done than said...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
