we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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