did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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