That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
