but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
