Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your cock deserves a montage
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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