Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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