Grow some girl-balls and come out already
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
