Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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