Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
