My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
