she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
