If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
