the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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