Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
