We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
