Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
