Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
