if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize