doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
