Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
