What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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