Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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