Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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