I'm really into asian looking animals
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
