I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
