I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
