The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
