So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
