let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
