I faked an abortion last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
