Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
