I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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