I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
