member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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