i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
