he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
