I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
