The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
please don't ironically join a cult
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