On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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