ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we made out on top of his cat.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
