I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
