I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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