Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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