I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
