Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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