So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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