Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
