their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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