All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
